Week 9 - oh oh the lord is my Sheppard and I am his sheep

Well friends and family this email is not going to be anything what you expect it to be. You probably expected a funny story or a good tail of misson moments. Well I can tell you this story told and untold has so many fingerprints all in it I'm pretty shore I didnt just see the finger print or the hand but my savior home self, guiding me and comforting me thew this. 

And what this is is I'm comming home.

And that is harder than anything to say becise you dont come home early from a misson that's not that you do.

Tuckers dont quit rember.

I can do hard things rember.

It will all be worth it if I finish my misson rember.

Well I did, I did finish my msion for now. 

If the lord wants me to go back on my misson I will be there in a heart beat, knowing my struggles and know how hard a misson is. But also know what joy a misson brings and what experience it let's you have and the relationship you get to have with the lord on a misson.... ya if the lord asked me to go back in the feald and put that back name tag back on and wake up evey day at 6 and go to bed evey day at 10 and give my whole heart to the lord evey second of evey day no doubt in my mind woud I say yes to the lord in a heart beat.

But that is the problem right now is my mind. I have been diagnosed with extreme depression and anxiety. And that is so hard to here I am the one to starts the dance parts, who brings the ice cream out, heck sister morris calls me sunshine. But right now I'm not very sunshiny at all. And I need help. I'm ok to say that. I'm ok to say I'm not ok right now. And comming home has been one of the hardest dission I have ever had to make but I've talk to my misson presdent and his wife time and time again and I've talked to the misson counselor and I've talked to my mom and they all see my pain but they know that this is my decision. The counsler gave his personal opinion that going home and healing woud probably be the best for me and he showed me a picture of two Brains and they were both doing a task the same task. And one was lit up tottay lit up. Shining and the other one possibly one 5% of the depressed brain was lit up. The way he explained it was your brain just wont let you do the task at hand, you want to I can see you want to but your brain just wont let you. And that was si hard for me to here becise I am the mind set of what we call stubborn and i want to do i want to finish everything I start. And he said it's your choice to stay or go but it may be best to go home and heal and he shaird this scripter with me 

D&C 124:49:

"Verily, verily, I say unto you, that when I give a commandment to any of the sons of men to do a work unto my name, and those sons of men go with all their might and with all they have to perform that work, and cease not their diligence, and their enemies come upon them and hinder them from performing that work, behold, it behooveth me to require that work no more at the hands of those sons of men, but to accept of their offerings."

And he said the lord is proud of your misson and your offering but you have given all you have, and the lord need you to get better. 

And it was so hard yet to comforting to here becise everything he was saying maid sence to me and I agreed with and I felt a peace about. And then my misson presdent's wife , sister Macbeth told me I needed to pray and get s answer with a feeling of over all peace about my decision. So I did.

And i did.

I feel peace about it and I even feel a litte like my self again. 

I know for some reason I need to be home. The lord and my hevenly father need me to be home I know that with out a doubt. And no one can tell me other wise, becise my mind may be a litte confused and hurting and in pain right now. But 

But my faith has never been stronger.

I know my savior loves me 

I love he died on the cross for each and everyone of us. I know that my hevenly father knows me by name. I know the scriptures were maid for our time period and they are pure revolution and pure joy and peace. I know my family lives me with our a freaking doubt in my mind. I know thst mu hevenly father has a plan for me and it's better then any plan I could come up with. And I know with my whole soul that this gospel is the plan of happiness, no question no quiver in my heart mind or soul or brain about that. 

My misson becise I am a return missonary was the best. The lord thought me so so much more then k could ever imagine and I felt his love in  Degrees I didnt knkw were  Possible and I felt all of your love the same way. For any of you who are thinking about going on a misson I say pray about it and do it! Trust the lord. Put him before your self and have that opportunity it where his name so close to your Heart evey day. So it and you will grow so much 

Do it and you will so much 

Do it and you will feel your hevenly feathers love and your saviors love so much. A misson is the best hardest most learning experience the lord has let a lot of us have. 

And my mission was a gift. And I love gifts and my hevenly father knows that about me.

And I'm so greatfull for his love and his always kind heart and words he has for me.

It's all going to be ok if I, my self and you four self rember hes incharge

He's the real author of this story 

Hes the real painter of this masterpiece 

Hes the pilot of this plain 

And he is our father in heaven 

Ans he knows what's best for us!!

I love you all so so much 

And I love the lord and my hevenly father more and anyting more then birthday cake ice cream, french frys, and dance parties.

I love this gospel with my whole soul.

And its all going to be ok becise of him. 

I love you all

And will see you all soon 

- sister tucker 

Week 8 - The power of prayer and UT Mexican food

So ya this week good this week long this week we find our when transfers are sooo thst blows my mind. Also homies I have been our 2 months on the 30th wich BLOWS MY FREAKING MIND !!!! like how did that happen I do not know !!!

But it did and so I'll keep yall updated on what happens to abbyaz.

But so this week we tottay stayed busy were always bissey wich is so awsome and so good and such a blessing. But I honestly dont rember a lot of what happend this week. Sorry. But I do rember a supper cool blessing that hevenly father blessed sister h ans I with. So our dinner appointment tottay canceled last minnet and we called everyone we could think if who said they woud feed us if our dinner ever did cancel. So we called eveyone eveyone we could think of and every one was rather sick, out of town or didnt respond. So we were driving back from temple square , we were there with one of our resent converts and her girls. And by the way I was tottay putting out my mesa vibes and I didnt see any of yall soooo immm I expect more next Time hahah just kidding but that really is a blessing about surving in UT you really do see a lot of people you know wich is so cool !! But any ways back to my story so we were driving back firm temple square and me and sister h are hangry lets be real so after texting everyone we know to feed us we just asked our resent convert to just drop us off at cafe Rio and all the way there I was just praying. I was like hevenly father I know this sounds so petty but will you pleas have some one at cafe Rio pay for our food. And I was just praying and like hevenly father this is tottay in your hands and I'm going to trust you 100 present. So we walk in And there was a big old line. And I was like good this is a good sine. So were waiting in line and about after 10 min this man who was right in front of us was like hello sisters... and my jaw dropped becise it was this brother whose house we ate at earlier this week. And he starts talking to us and we told him our dinner appointment canceled and so that's why we were parting at cafe rio and he asked us ( he was with his neice  so it was ok ) but he asked us if we had a ride home and we said no and so he was like well I can tottay give you one. Ok so first blessing I was not expecting that... THANKS HEVENLY FATHER!!!!

than we like older our food and we are geting close to the register and the brother who is giving us a ride home when he got to the cash register he said and what ever the sisters have I'm paying for there's too.

LIKE WHAT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NOT ONLY DID HEVENLY FATHER HAVE SOME ONE PAY FOR OUR FOOD BUT IT WAS A BROTHER WHOES HOUSE WE JUST ATE AT AND HEVENLY FATHER MADE IT POSSIBLE FOR US TO HAVE A RIDE HOME TOO!!!!!! LIKE WHATTTTTTTTTT

like when does that ever happen !!! The lord is just freaking  In charge. 

So this week was good. Becise the lord is so aware of me . And you and gosh dang it eveyone !!!

I love you all so flipping much!!!! And miss you all with evey step I take and I'm in a walking area so that's a lot of steps !!!

Love you all!!!

Hope your week is 10/10 and dont forget I love you and the lord loves you and all that good stuff!!!

And some one go to soda shop for me !!

Save me jade ???? 

And I love geting photos and vidos of eveyones life !! But they load best threw Facebook messenger for some reason. 

So tell me what's going on in all your lifes and I freaking love letters !!! 

So umm dint be afraid of snail mail !!! 

And shout out to my makenna knighton for lissing to the spirit and writing me when you did becise I needed to here thst right that second !!!

This really is the plan of happiness!!!!! 

The church is true !!!!

Week 7 Shot glass sacrament

Well hello Mesa hommies and other hommies across the country and other places!!!

So this week has been really really good! Like guys I think the whole adjustment phase is over now 

#knockonwood 

Watch I just  Jinxed my self but its chill. 

So first holly crap pray is awsome 

like I'll just put that plug in and I'm  sorry mom but made fun of you for all theas years 

I'm like what the heck are you praying about for that long!!! 

No one has longer prayers than shauna !!! And now mom you may have some  Competition for who has the longest prayers!! I mean hay thats a pretty good competition if you ask me.. I mean eveyone feel free to join the competition!!!!

But prayer is like my JAM !!!! 

like the really nice jam you can only buy at those fancy stores 

ya that's me and prayer 

were hommies 

so eveyone get on this prayer jam with me and we can all have the bomb PB ans j sandwiches together!!

But it's kinda crazy so ut people keep telling me it's hot ... and I just smile and say ummm yaaaaaaa it is hot ya ya ok 

Sheesh theas people DONT KNOW WHAT HOT IS !!! 

hot is when your deodorant turns into a liquid in your car

Hot is when you littray have to take a like 10 min brake form walking from your car to your house 

Hot is when you have to go to the soda shop every day... wait whatttttt did I mention soda shop whatttttt 

i mean i guess i did 

and i mean i guess if some one went to the soda shop for me and then sent me pictures I mean that woud only make my life its chill its chill 

Haha wow I'm all over the place but ehh what's new it's my life hahaha 

But so for my main story for the week yall ready for it ....

So one of the biggest questions me ans sister H and I are asked are so how did you feel when you got called to UT ?? And were both like this is a foren lad !! Who k weds south America theas UT mormans are a different breed all by then self's Haha 

So hers the story 

So one of our investagots was riding his bike and hes like a 55 year old man and he fell and broke his knee cap ya broke his knee cap OUCH !!! so he had to have surgery and hes in a leg cast and it's a hit mess. So he was on he still is on date but now we obviously can't baptize him till the cast comes off wich will be a hot second plus some. So him and his wife who is a less active are pretty much house bound becise they can't leave becise he is healing and honestly in a lot of pain. Now I'm going to brake one of my rules and tell you his name just so yall can pray his healing to happen fast and he will be able to hold on tight till babtizum. His name is John. Everyone pray for John's knee to heal like CRAZY FAST !!! but so John and his wife are house bound right and they needed the sacrament brought in to then. And there were misson leader who is probably the craziest old man I know like aunt kara like bless is heart crazy. Any ways God loves all his children . But he took it upon his self to bring them the sacrament. Like didnt tell the bishop he was doing just did it. So he showed up to John and his wife house and was like so yall got any bread and I'll need t litte cups and a plate . And John's wife who is a member was like ummm dint you need 2 priesthood men for the sacrament. And he was like oh ya I forget. So he ( the ward misson leader ) called the only prest in the ward and was like hay I need your help doing the sacrament for a sick member. And the young man was like I already changed out of my church close. And the ward misson leader said it doesn't matter matter what your whereing just come. Ummm ok so the young man shows up in a mussel tank and and basketball shorts and Nike slides sooo awsome. Then the ward misson leader asked John and his wife so got any litte cups and John's wife was like I may have litte 8  Medicine cups but I dint know. 

Than john says well you got all those shot glass you collect form all the states. A d so they used red solo cup shot glasses to take the sacrament. WHATTTT 

WHAT IS THIS !!! lucky John's wife is member so she explained to him ummm this is not normal fyi. Oh and did I mention this was his first time taking the sacrament geez ...... Haha that will be something to tell his postatary...

But ya this week is good sister h and I are hopping we get to stay together next transfer becise our work is finally coming together. And we have this new organize system for misson work it's kinda like my inspiration wall ar home for soul threads so I'm supper excited about it!!!

But love you all and pray for you all all the dang time !!!!